Hilyology

So Wise

2010-10-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks Plato. So very true. There is a story as to how I came across this today and why it jumped out of me. There are so many words to add to this when life allows me the time to write. (But for now this image says it all)....

To My Dad....

2010-06-20T10:17:00.002-07:00

Dearest Dad:

Happy Father's Day.

Please know how much I love you today and always.

I know we've spent most of my life with you there, and me somewhere else....

but you are in my heart and thoughts

24 hours a day,

7 days a week,

365 days a year.

Love always, your daughter and grandchildren

XOXO

“We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents.”

~Henry Ward Beecher

Those who Do

2010-06-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

There are those who talk, and those who do. My friend, Hallie *, is a person who does.

She puts her words into action. She is a wonderful example to me.

Her latest goal to help others? To raise $5,000 dollars by July for children's cancer research by shaving her head and collecting donations. I donated today, since I can't travel to Nebraska and shave my head with her (this time at least...am considering doing this sometime in the future though; my hair is driving me crazy anyway)! ;-)

On a serious note, in the past year or so, I have had one friend lose his child to cancer and another friend lose her niece to cancer.

Today I gave a gift in honor of both these little ones.

I am so blessed that my children are healthy and HERE with me....life isn't always easy, but things like this help me remember what it's all about.

*If you'd like to help, please click on Hallie's name above (in blue).

This....

2010-05-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

.....says it perfectly.

My Girl....

2010-05-11T10:58:00.004-07:00

My firstborn, my daughter, the baby that I dreamt about having from the time I was a child myself....is officially a 10 year old. An entire decade flashed by in the blink of an eye. She turned double digits this past Sunday, on Mother's Day of all days. It was a bittersweet day full of emotion for me. It has gone by way too fast. I want to push the pause button but know that's not possible. I do hope the next 10 years take their time and go slowly, I want to savour them. She was named after my great-grandmother's maiden name, Ramey. Her name means "from Reims"(the beautiful, ancient French city). My great-grandmother was a fiery, determined redhead, but was also so kind, generous, spirited and loving....all things that seem to have been passed along to my daughter along with the name. The day she was born is when I truly started to understand life.....she's still teaching me every day how to grow and better myself at the same time as taking care of her. I have a long way to go before I could ever claim to be a perfect mother, but she by far, has made all my dreams come true.

I love you, Ramey. Thank you for being you.

Shining Star....

2010-05-05T16:32:00.003-07:00

For some major inspiration....click here. For those of you who don't know NieNie (I don't personally know her either), for the record, she is a daily inspiration to me. I wanted to share her new video with you all. Her humanity just shines and her spiritual side sparkles. I thank my lucky stars for the good example that she is to all women and mothers everywhere......

Oh L'amour

2010-05-02T09:04:00.002-07:00

When I woke up this morning, this popped into my mind. True love, alongside my spirituality, is something that gives me a vast amount of hope. Yes, love hurts once in a while. As Joseph Campbell said, "love is the pain of being truly alive." It may not always take the form we think it should or end up the way we wanted it to, but today I feel grateful for it either way. Mr. Shakespeare sums it up better than I ever could; luckily for me he recorded it on paper so I'm able share it with you 401 years later......

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

~William Shakespeare, 1609

The Chosen

2010-04-30T14:49:00.005-07:00

I come from a small family but luckily my chosen family of friends is quite large.....and today they are my sunshine. These are the friends I've had for decades or perhaps just for a little while who all have one thing in common: they know me as well as I know myself, if not better. They live as close as around the corner from me here in our desert city, to as far away as the each coast of the U.S. and even beyond to the suburbs of London. This week was full of moments that tempted me to give up all hope. I feel like I try so hard but then fall hard on my face in failure. I wonder if I'll ever learn? These best friends, my sisters, have kept me afloat and turn my face toward the light when all else seems dim. I would be negligent if I didn't acknowledge my love to them for taking good care of my heart, even when I don't feel deserving. Thank you to my girls (you know who you are).

“What sweetness is left in life, if you take away friendship? Robbing life of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun. A true friend is more to be esteemed than kinsfolk." ~Cicero

LVM version 5.0

2010-04-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my baby, who turns 5 today. I love this little girl so much. She was born on St. George's Day (you know, the guy that slayed the dragon). I've always thought that being born on this day would give her some of that same courage and strength to slay her own dragons in life when she grows up. Until then, I'll happily do it for her. I feel so blessed that she picked me out of all the women in the world, to be her mom. Thank you Lilz. Happy birthday!

A mother's love for her child is like

nothing else in the world. It knows no

law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes

down remorselessly all that stands in its path.

~ Agatha Christie

My 3 Reasons

2010-03-16T11:04:00.001-07:00

Another long absence from blogging, another good reason, which I am choosing to keep to myself and an unfortunate few friends who have had to hear all about it. Recently I feel like I don't have much of what I thought I would have at this age. What I do have are 3 beautiful reasons to wake up every day, reasons to want to make this world a more beautiful one, reasons to fight when all I want to do is give up. I am starting to believe that I was created for one soul purpose, or at least that right now, my life has one main reason for being. That is to be a mother to the "reasons" mentioned in the lines above. Their names are Mimi, CJ and Lilz. I love them more than they will ever know. One of the hardest things to do as a mother is to put your own fears, your own worries, your own worst nightmares, your own short-comings aside for the sake and well-being of your children. I knew when they were born that I was literally charged and called to protect these little lives. I have never wanted to mold them not into what I wanted them to be, but to take their own individual personalities that they were born with and guide them by example along the way, to help them find their own feet and love themselves in order to find their own spirits. In the year 2000, the year my first baby was born, my world became a universe orbiting around my children. It is something I have never regretted. When they came along, life ceased being about me and became about "we." My little ones are no longer infants. They are 4, 7 and 9 years old. They can now think for themselves, talk for themselves, express themselves. There are certain things though that they cannot do for themselves still and that is where I come in. In some ways, they need me more right now than when they were babies. I feel I am re-learning all over again this week what it means to truly be a mother, and I'm striving to be the best one that I can be. I have much to learn and a lot to overcome in the near future but one thing I know is that their love for me means more to me than anything. It means more than any worldly good. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. A few years ago I saw the following passage on a friend's blog. I knew it was so fitting for how I felt about my children and was waiting for the right time to use it. It seems fitting today.

"You are the trip I did not take;

You are the pearls I cannot buy;

You are my blue Italian lake;

You are my piece of foreign sky."

(“To My Child,” quoted in Charles L. Wallis, ed., The Treasure Chest [1965], 54)

(Childhood) Logic

2010-02-18T13:23:00.002-07:00

My little boy is barely 7 years old. He comes up with the most hilarious things, as children often do.

Since my writing by nature usually reflects my more introspective side, I have decided to break my own mold. Every so often I thought I'd share with you some of the things I hear in my home that come from the mouth of babes. It may not make you laugh the same way it makes me, but hopefully it will at least bring a little smile.

The other day, Mr. C (one of my son's many nicknames) brought me a perfectly good yellow crayon. He was drawing a picture of space and was using it for the stars.

The following conversation took place:

C: "Mommy, I really need this sharper."

Me: "It's already sharp, Lovey. Why do you need it sharpened?"

C: "Yeah, it's sharp but it's not nearly sharp enough."

Me: "How much sharper would you like it to be?"

Son: "Well, really, it's only sharp enough when it hurts to be poked with it."*

Luckily he didn't add a "duh, Mom, don't you know anything?" on the end of the conversation.

(Sweet kid)

I could, however, tell by the intense look he gave me that he thought this should have been perfectly clear logic to me.

I must admit that I like the way children think and speak. They just cut to the chase. I could learn a thing or two from that.

Sadly I didn't have a thing to sharpen the crayon with, other than a pocket knife and it ended up more block shaped than when he handed it to me.

Guess it's time to invest in a new crayon sharpener.

*And yes, I did remind him that it's not kind to poke anyone with anything sharp, and he said he only meant for paper of course. Phew.

Hello 2010 (and age 34....gulp)

2010-02-11T17:19:00.001-07:00

Anyone who reads  my blog (or the few beloved friends who read my blog), hopefully realizes that I  always have the best intentions of writing much and writing often.  It's  probably also become crystal clear that my intentions and my abilities are often  out of sync.  This is a  perfect example....when on 31 Dec I wrote goodbye to 2000, it was my intention  to write hello to 2010 the very next morning.  Didn't happen sadly.  My life  just doesn't have a script right now. Sometimes  other things just get in the way of my love of writing and  expression. 

Soul-searching  lately has taken up a lot of my time.  I became very ill recently, not the type  of unwell feeling you can work through but the kind that knocks you off your  feet and actually makes you curl up in bed.  I had a lot of time to think, watch DVDs, and think some more as I willed myself better.

One of many  epiphanies I have had as of late is that perhaps the best plan, for me anyway,  is to really let life go unscripted.  Sure, have intentions and make them the  best possible, but don't hold yourself to expectations, especially  unrealistic ones.  

Life isn't  perfect and no amount of scripting will ever change that.  But to me that is  part of the beauty of it; we never know what is really right around the  corner. The unknown of tomorrow could be something negative or it could be the  most amazing thing we've experienced yet.

My birthday is a  week and a half into the new year.  When 2010 arrived, so did my 34th year of  life.  This year I did something different, I did not set any new year's  resolutions.  And I think as a birthday gift to myself this year, I will do the same thing. I'm not going to hold myself  to anything that I don't know for sure that I can accomplish; maybe let myself off the hook a little.  That way, I won't  beat myself up or feel like a total loser if I don't get everything right, all the time.  I've always been someone who sets the bar very high for  herself, only to feel like a failure to myself and those around me when I fall short, which is often may I add.  

If I've come to  know one thing with age, it's that I am not a super hero, I cannot fix  every one's issues (as much as I want to), I cannot make money out of thin air to  make someone else happy, I have bad days like everyone else, and I am not  perfect and very, very human.  

What I am  realizing is that it's taken me 34 years to really learn what my priorities  are.  Those priorities are the same as they've always been from a young  age really.  The problem is I never thought they were anything special.  And I'm  not being trite saying I am anything special now, just someone who is aiming to  be content with the life she is living.  

It may not be a  dazzling life, this life I've led for more than 3 decades now, but if I can look  back on it and feel mostly at peace then it's good enough for me.  Sure, I'd love to say that I could inspire billions around the world like Oprah, but I am happy enough trying to inspire my own children. 

 Being a  loving mother/family member, being true to myself, being a real friend to  others, letting spiritual rather than worldly things be my guide and at least  trying to embrace optimism rather than being pessimistic (even if the rest of the  world may laugh at me for being "naive") are the things that matter to me.  These things have been magnetized lately, especially after my grandmother's passing in November.  We can't take money, cars or houses with us when our time here is up.  It's only the love and care we've shared with others that we leave behind. 

Now if I could just stop wanting to make everyone else happy with themselves, just as they are.  Maybe next year for my 35th I will give myself the gift of not worrying.  Something tells me that's one thing I will never master. ;-) 

Goodbye 2009

2009-12-31T17:54:00.003-07:00

I've decided to split my "New Year's" entry into two parts. Did you notice that I missed Christmas completely? I apologize for that; there isn't the time to explain why.

It ended up being a beautiful Christmas day though. The look of joy in my children's eyes is to die for. I just love it. I hope all of you had a lovely Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice or just a plain ol' beautiful December altogether!!!

In short, 2009 is a year that was full of so many blessings, but also so many trials. I don't want to dwell on the negative but as many of you know, this year was full of loss, many different types, on many different levels. There are a few moments from 2009 that I wouldn't trade for the world, so therefore I thank my Heavenly Father for this year, even for the bad parts (there's always a lesson to learn during trials anyway, right?)!
Overall, I cannot say that I am sad to see the door close on 2009....however, I am beyond thankful for the new door that will be opening up starting just past midnight tonight.
I will write again shortly after that new door opens.

2010....what dreams does it have in store for me? What dream do you want it to hold for you and yours?
Wherever we are in the world, let's make it all those dreams come true! In 2010, something tells me that we will all be better off looking up and reaching for the stars.

Sunshine (in a jar)

2009-12-12T16:11:00.010-07:00

At least once a year it is my goal to put something homemade here on Hilyology. Homemade and cheery is even better! Since I've been writing a lot about trials, I hope it is a welcome break from the usual downer as of late here in my little corner of the web.

The title of this post is a little ironic because untypically of the Arizona weather, today's desert sky is rather dark, gloomy, cloudy, dreary and ominous. I'm loving it! Saying that, I still need some cheering up and here's something yellow, bright and zesty.

I've been meaning to share this with my friend Lyndsay for about a month so figured I'd go ahead and make it into a post and share it with everyone else too.

What is it, you may be asking?

It is lemon curd.

Yum

What is lemon curd??? "It sounds disgusting," my American friends may be saying to themselves. Quite the contrary. It's a delicious discovery I made while living in England. It's healthy treat and my kids love it; basically it's an alternative to a jam or jelly.

You can spread it on toast, put it on shortbread cookies or spread it on warm scones alongside a nice cup o' herbal tea. You can also use it in pies/tarts or in between layers of a sponge cake. It's super easy to make and Au Natural, much better for you than the stuff at the stores filled with chemicals and preservatives!

I'm going to make some today and maybe jar some up to give out as homemade Christmas gifts.

Here's the recipe:

Traditional British Lemon Curd

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

2 teaspoons finely grated fresh lemon zest

1/2 cup sugar

3 large eggs

3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, cut into bits

Whisk together juice, zest, sugar, and eggs in a 2-quart heavy saucepan.

Stir in butter and cook over moderately low to low heat, whisking frequently, until curd is thick enough to hold marks of whisk and the first bubble appears on surface, about 6 minutes.

Strain.

Transfer lemon curd to a bowl and chill, its surface covered with plastic wrap, until cold, at least 1 hour.

Pour while warm into warmed jars and the lid should vacuum seal itself.

Once opened can be stored chilled for up to one week.

Enjoy....hope it adds a spot of sunshine to a cold December day for you (unless you live in Australia where it's toasty as I type this)! If you make any, let me know if you like it!

Thanksgiving....

2009-11-30T16:39:00.001-07:00

It came and went like a flash but I hope all of you (American or not) had a beautiful Thanksgiving. I love having a day where we can reflect on our blessings, even during times of strife there are things to be grateful for. The most basic things in life are the things that bind those of us spread all over the world to one another.....love, friendship, family, good health and humanity. This year my daughter Ramey prepared our turkey. She was so proud of herself and I was in awe of how quickly she is growing into a young woman right before my eyes. She has a real talent for cooking, as the smile on her face shows. She also has a real talent for helping me, and as a delicious as her turkey was, her loving ways are worth more to me than any feast.

Ramey and her bird

Miss you Tingles....

2009-11-30T16:29:00.003-07:00

Another long absence, my apologies! It's hard to believe time has gone so swiftly since my last hello. As usual I honestly do have a good reason for not writing (I've missed it)! Since late September it seems like the floodgates opened and life decided to throw me one challenge after another. But with rain comes growth, so I am remembering to love every moment of this life even when it's not a bed of roses.

The biggest trial?

My Grandma Tingles passing away.

Her name was Geneva, like the Swiss capital. But she was known as Tingles, her family nickname. When she was a child, she adored playing with Dolly Dingles dolls but couldn't say her "d's" when she was very small so she called them "Tingles". Her mother found it endearing and so did everyone else the rest of her life.

My grandma was really like a mother to me so losing her has made me feel for the first time like I am kind of all alone in this big world. Missing her is an understatement.

I named my firstborn daughter Ramey after my grandmother's maternal line (as a nod to her French/Scotch-Irish lineage).

We had many similarities and many differences...I always wished I was more like her. She was feisty, gutsy, opinionated and adventurous (all things I lack). But she also was full of warmth, extremely generous and always put others before herself. Every time I took a friend up to her farm to visit she would find a gift to present them with.

With her passing, she has passed a torch of love and generosity to me. I will do my best to carry on some of her ways throughout the rest of my life. It's the best way we can honor those that we love, by doing the things that they cannot do anymore. For me that will mean baking cookies with my kids in her kitchen, donating clothes rather than selling them on EBay, sending a Texas pecan pie to her last remaining sister (my great aunt) at Thanksgiving time, saving money and sending a Christmas honey baked ham to the man who bought her health food store (Ginny's Vitamin Village in Wickenburg) from her but whom lovingly kept the store's name the same in her honor. These are all the things that she'd expect me to carry on for her.

I just wanted to honor her here on my family blog since she was a huge part of person I am and an even bigger inspiration for the person I want to become.

I have already felt her spirit around me and know she has been reunited with her mother, father and all her siblings up above. I bet they'll be having a heavenly version of a big ol' Texas BBQ.

I am grateful for my belief of eternity and families being forever. Here's to a life very well lived. I miss and love you, Grandma.

As an 18 year old just out of high school in her first job i.d. (she was a telephone operator)

As a young wife in Phoenix, later in the 1940's

With my daughter Lily, her great-grand baby who inherited her beautiful eyes on 1 Oct 2009 (about a month before passing away)

Quickly...

2009-10-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

This has definitely been one of those weeks...I am still sick and pretty much in my famous zombie mode today. But I still have a thought in my head and wanted to share it.

There is a popular quote floating around that I have seen so many times as of late that it's now permanently marked in the forefront of my mind.

It is:

"Come what may...and love it." - Joseph B. Wirthlin (attributed to his mother)

That seems very fitting to my life right now and really is something I'm going to apply to the rest of my days. No matter what comes, or what may lurk around the corner, whether it be good or bad, I am going to love it.

Just wanted to share another reminder to love this life for what it is even when it's not the way we would have ideally have it.

I hope you are having a good day wherever you are reading from...go out and enjoy your little corner of the world! I plan to do just that (as soon as I get better anyway)!

:-)

"Ancient" Wisdom and Beauty

2009-10-11T14:45:00.002-07:00

It's the Sabbath day today and as such, I'm reflecting (of course lately when am I not reflecting?)! Last night after another long day of feeling like a truck hit me from this cold virus, we decided to just pick up Chinese food for dinner from Shangri-La (not the mythical place of legand and lore, but the restaurant).

Shangri-La is in my old neighborhood. I drove past my high school on the way to pick it up and I was immediately taken back to my first year of high school at age 16. I was probably what one would have called a walking contradiction back then.

As a teenager, most of the time I looked totally opposite as to what I felt inside. I dressed in black, a lot of it, and wore Doc Marten boots. If people didn't know me I am certain they thought I was a depressed, suicidal teen. I wasn't....I just really liked the style and the music that went along with it. Flash forward to my senior year and I had relaxed a bit...I morphed more into the "granola" look which was probably a more natural fit for a girl who hails from California who would rather live on the beach and be barefoot all the time. I haven't changed much since then. That was June of 1994 (yes, part of me refuses to grow up).

I got stuck back in the mid 1990's for a while until we got home and sat down to eat. I should say I tried to eat but wasn't all that hungry since I cannot smell anything for the life of me which kills my appetite (not that it'll hurt me to skip a meal). After dinner, Mimi and I went for the fortune cookies (which she loves to just smash to death and throw away...the other kids tried to eat the crumbs). I found it interesting that the fortune that I got in my fortune cookie ended up reading the following:

"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."

After I read that I had to laugh to myself about the time I had just spent remembering all those high school insecurities. I started thinking about what looks and appearances actually mean. Are they important? Sure. Would I like to look better at times? Of course. But does how I look make me who I am or make you who you are? I spent so much time in high school wondering what people thought of me based on what I wore or how skinny I was, or wasn't. Even today, as a mom at age 33 I have a lot of those same insecurities. I have many girls who are my friends and who are in my family who I think of as supermodels (in fact, one actually is a supermodel)! But to me, what makes them beautiful is how loving they are, how much they care about me and are there for me.

I stopped and wondered why I can judge these girls on their outer beauty as well as their inner beauty but when it comes to myself, I only look at what is outside. I was reading Nie Nie Dialogues the other day and it dawned on me what real beauty is. It's so much more than skin deep, it is what radiates from one's soul.

When you got married, did you ever ask yourself if your spouse would still adore you if in an accident and didn't "look" like the person they were marrying? I neglected to spend a lot of time on that before I got married. More importantly than would your spouse still love you if your looks were gone may be the question of would you be able to see yourself as beautiful even without looks or fashion, or money to support it?

For my children, nothing is more important to me than developing their spirits. I want my girls to know that while beauty is fun and plays a role, it's not what should be the source of their happiness. For my son, I want him to learn that when he chooses a wife, to think about the kind of mother she will make, not just what he and his friends think about her looks. While I teach them these things I need to try to remind myself to practice what I preach.

Sunday's are so good for this kind of thing don't you think? Praying and pondering is good for the soul. I feel that it's only when the beauty inside matches or surpasses the beauty on the outside that one feels whole. I have a long way to go, but by the time I'm 35 I want to actually believe that my spirit is beautiful from within, regardless of how I look on the outside.

Anyone else with me?

Breathe

2009-10-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to keep breathing in all sorts of ways. Both literally and figuratively....but the topic I'll focus on here is in the literal sense of the meaning.

All of this week I've been sick with a horrible cold and respiratory virus- so have the kids. I can barely breath...my chest is tight and my nose is completely clogged. Right now I'm very drowsy on my various cold medicines and they (the kids) get out of school early today so I'm trying to keep myself from falling asleep. Writing always does the trick to help keep me awake so thought I'd just write down some various thoughts I've been having this morning.

I've been thinking about the minor miracles of life the past few days. One of which is over-the-counter medicine, especially fever reducers. Mimi woke up with a high fever of nearly 103 the other night and I myself have been running just as hot. Without this medication we would not be able to cope. I cannot say that my sinus medication, cough suppresant or anything else has worked, but the fever reducer has. Thank goodness!

The tought about modern day medicines led me to think about mothers of days gone by and how they must have felt when their children were ill like this- without anything to help them other than prayer and the passage of time. I think of the mothers on The Mayflower who must have been beside themselves as their small children grew ill aboard the boat for months on end. And all the Pioneer mothers who trekked from the east to the western side of the U.S. who had to take their small children with them- often times losing them to illness. These women must have experienced such worry and heartache. I am so grateful that when my babies wake up sick, I can just reach for a bottle of children's Tylenol.

Small miracles....something to be grateful for indeed. Here's to a healthy flu season for all (I'm hoping we are getting it out of the way early and will not experience it again until next year)!
:-)

Journeys

2009-10-07T17:06:00.002-07:00

The past month or so has been full of unexpected gifts, and as usual trials. Namely my beloved grandmother has taken a turn for the worst and will likely leave this world soon for the next one. I thought it would already happen, but we've been blessed with the gift of extra time.

The only comfort that I have concerning the situation is that I believe I will be with her again someday, in addition to the rest of my family. In my heart I believe families are forever.

The thing that scares me is that following her passing, I know my own life will change on many levels, some of which are probably unfathomable right now.

I found a quote today that I thought could apply to her journey along her way and my journey that I will have to take without her when she leaves me behind.

"One's destination is neer a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller

I know that when she's gone, she really won't be. I'll just have to look at it differently as in she will physically just not be here. And as for me and where I end up....that will take a new way of looking at things as well. I just hope I can continue to make her proud even from the great beyond.

Remember to hug your loved ones, life is always too short, even when you make it to your mid 80's.

8 Weeks

2009-09-04T09:06:00.002-07:00

Obviously it's been a while since I've posted (about 8 weeks) and there are many good reasons for it.

My lovely daughter Mimi made me a handmade card the other night. It melted my heart and showed a 9 year old little girl who is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I wish that she didn't have to be that way....that she could just be carefree and not notice that her mommy has a lot on her plate once in a while. But at the same time, I feel overjoyed that she has turned in to an empathetic, caring, loving child who thinks of others.

I will add a photo to show the adorable illustrations she made later but inside, it reads:

"Mommy:

You have been through so much.

I love you so much.

So this card is for you, and only you, to make your life better.

It's been hard.

I love you.

From Mimi"

All I can add is that life has a way of really pulling the rug out from under one's feet at times. But after times like this I always learn something and appreciate the water for my soul....a challenge does for the spirit what water does for a plant.

Trials can do two things. They can either bring growth and better understanding of ways to make ourselves and those around us better. Or, than can crush your spirit completely. It's a choice to react one way or the other. Better or bitter is how I'm starting to look at it.

I've learned the past few months that as long as you have your health, your life, your faith, friends, family and chances for better tomorrows then you have everything you need....at least for me, that's all I need. I guess it's a lesson I'd rather learn sooner rather than later. Thank you to those in my life who shelter me during the storms.

The road ahead of me is a long one, but I'm so happy to still be on the road traveling it, having opportunites make things better along the way.

Beautiful Day

2009-07-08T17:41:00.024-07:00

Today has been beautiful for many reasons. Mainly, I have friends and a the beauty of nature to thank for that. Look at the treats Mother Nature gave me this morning when I stepped out my back door that leads to my garden....

What a beautiful thing to wake up to! Thank you Mother Nature for the sunflowers, yellow crookneck squash, Roma tomatoes, cabbage, squash blossom and butternut squash.
Also, you'll notice...my blog is beautiful again. A big thank you to Lyndsay (again)! She had me test adding an html code widget to set my background (rather than her logging into my blog to fix things) to see if it worked and wha-la, it worked perfectly. Please visit her new site HERE.....if you are looking for someone to beautify your blog, she's your girl!
There are certain days when one would be remiss to not mention certain things or people that need to be mentioned. So today I hope you won't mind me highlighting a friend (I hope she won't mind for that matter)!

T has been a friend of mine for as long as I can remember (we're talking elementary school here so 20 plus years). We recently reconnected thanks Facebook (where else)?

Today her son would have turned 18. She lost him a few years ago due to circumstances I'm not quite clear about. What I do know for certain is that it was beyond tragic, as any loss would be for a mother. He was a beautiful boy with his mother's eyes.

I don't know how she's getting through it, but she is. She's as strong and as beautiful as she was when I met her as a spunky girl at Sirrine Elementary School in the late 1980's. Some people just have that spark- that fire inside that keeps them going when others would just give up. She's one of those people, an inspiration in my book.

Tonight I feel really grateful for my friends and family. What a blessing it is to learn that it's people, not things, that make life happy (and yes, I know some people have the ability to make life not happy...but you know what I mean, the people who build you up, who love you and support you).

The people in my life mean more to me than gold...the old friends, the new, the locals and those across the sea, the chosen family, the blood family, the besties, the sisters, the casual ones, the old school friends, my church friends, and of course blogger friends....the lot of you. ThAnK YoU for making my often rocky, bumpy (and of course hilly) life much more joyful than it would be without you.

Remember: today is a gift...that's why the call it the present (I know, I know, feel free to insert an eye-roll at that catch phrase, I can see some of you now....but, it's true).

Ooops

2009-06-30T09:50:00.004-07:00

The kids just deleted the background here on my blog- so lovingly designed (for free, on her own time as a gift to me) by my friend Lyndsay Johnson. Sorry Lyndsay! Don't worry about repairing it- I just didn't want you to think I went in and got rid of anything on purpose.

I saw the opportunity to have a long talk with them about other people's work and not ruining it- whether on the computer or in the classroom. I guess they were messing around with the templates and changed it to Minima Stretch....I put it back on normal Minima but that didn't seem to do anything different. Eek.

Thank goodness the header with wise Mr. Owl is safe (my favourite part)! It's still great with just a white background....guess this goes to show why a 9 year old and 6 year old should not be allowed to touch the laptop (guess I need to start hiding it when I go outside to hang up laundry)! The laptop is already missing half of it's keys so guess I should be happy they didn't totally break it.

The kiddos are so bored without school that they are starting to get into everything. I can't blame them-I go a bit stir crazy myself being stuck inside all day. I am surprised they haven't done anything more destructive to tell you the truth.

I think I'll go turn the sprinklers on now and just let them run around all day. In AZ it's the only way to play outdoors on a hot summer day. Hope you all enjoy your days today- whatever you do!

HiLy

Such a simple thing....

2009-06-29T16:43:00.010-07:00

"....such a simple thing, but the difference it made was great."

Yes. I am quoting one of the talented Morrissey's songs.

My Englishman got back from his camping/hiking excursion recently. But he didn't actually hike. He ended up not feeling well due to the altitude. So much for adventuring, at least this time.

But he did seem really really happy at least while this photo was taken.

The smile on his face is priceless to me because I don't get to see it that often when he's trapped in the city doing nothing but working (especially not during the summer months)!

Being in a lava tunnel cave seems such a simple thing...but the difference it made at least for a split second was great for my bearded wonder. I see an adventurous little boy when I look at this photo.

Thanks to Kris (pictured in red) for flying all the way from The Cayman Islands. And thanks Brandon for driving from Nevada. You boys are lucky to be a band of brothers. To have friends who will travel great distances to be with one another is a gift, even when it doesn't go as planned (that sounds like a fortune cookie).

Now back to the mundane and housework.....I'll pretend I'm in the cave too (much more exciting)!

Til next time,
HiLy

Other parents? What?!

2009-06-24T13:31:00.003-07:00

Talk about heartbreak. I am hoping it was just a phase that all children go through...the "I want other parents" phase.

I haven't seen Coraline, nor have I read the book. Mimi, our oldest, saw it though and loved the story. Coraline apparently has very busy parents, trying to make their very meager ends meet. Sounds like many real life parents nowadays.

Coraline feels unsettled about her parents. She goes exploring and finds the "other mother" who from what I can gather from my 9 year old ends up being way worse than her real life mother. The "other mother" takes children's eyes and replaces them with buttons. Yikes.

Moral of the story (I think): be happy with the mother you have (or parents) so long as they really are not bad parents.

The other day our little boy (who has not seen or read Coraline) said he wanted to go find his other parents. You can read below about how he and I worked through this.

I thought I had safely locked away that conversation with my son for good but today I cannot get it out of my head. I have Soleil Moon Frye (aka Punky Brewster) to thank for it. As a little girl I was often compared to her. Now as a fellow mom, I love it that she has grown up with a love for all things organic (like I and other girls from our generation have) and as a thoughtful parent.

I digress. What's my point? Today Soleil Moon Frye posted a blog on her website Little Seed about how sometimes we mommies/parents get stressed out....we snap at our kids, and really regret it. She posed some thoughts around this and asked for feedback. You can find her blog entry HeRe with her original statement and question.

Here's what I wrote in response:

~I have 3 little ones…and a not so perfect life and we are struggling especially hard right now like many people. Last week my middle child, my 6 year old son, said he “wanted to go find his other parents”. It broke my heart. I asked him to explain. He said he wanted to find his other parents, the ones that are nice ALL the time. We in no way mistreat our babies of course, but they do see me cry once in a while due to one thing or another and they do see dad complain about a hard day. I had to sit him down and explain that all people, little and big, have hard days and sometimes even grown ups don’t handle them as well as we should. I reminded him that on his bad days, when he whines or cries or throws a temper tantrum that I still love him and that I’d never say, “I want to go find my other son…the one that never misbehaves.” He understood the point right away. Sometimes being real with our children is one of the best things we can do for them even though we are inclined to put on a happy face and pretend issues are not there. Teaching kids how to deal/cope sooner rather than later in my opinion is a gift.~

I'm sure others will disagree with me- saying that we should keep our children sheltered for as long as we can is the way to go. I definitely agree that anything we can protect them from, we should. But life is full of ups and downs- loved ones pass away, jobs are lost, wars are fought, children go hungry. I try to keep my children shielded from these unpleasantries but at a certain point I feel that keeping them in the dark is a disservice.

My two youngest are still safe in their world of childhood but Mimi, our 9 year old is quickly becoming aware of troubles that exist in the world. I am using it as a teaching tool- showing her that there is a good side to everything.

When a loved one passes away, I remind her that we will be reunited with them someday and we can be a family forever.

When someone loses a job, we see what we can do to help and let people know they have support.

When she hears about the war on the news, we talk about history lessons and diplomacy and our leaders making wise (or unwise) choices.

When she sees kids in our neighborhood who look hungry, we talk about to offering extra produce from our garden to other who could use it.

So, the point of this long, drawn out blog entry is to get some feedback. I think it's OK to let our kids know adults are human and sometimes have hard days just like they do. And I think it's OK to let them know the world is full of trials when they are old enough to think about it....but it has to be coupled with teaching them that they have the power to make the world a happier place for themselves and everyone else.

What do you think? I'm starting to wonder if I have it right, or if I should just keep my kids in a bubble?

Happy Father's Day....

2009-06-21T13:55:00.003-07:00

It's Father's Day. The best gift in the world, in my opinion is having good parents, and especially a good father.

I didn't get to grow up with Dad and I miss him daily. To my dad in Mission Viejo, Happy Father's Day, I love you. Every time I look in the mirror I see your eyes. Words can't say how I wish we were closer and could just stop by today and bring you a big bunch of sunflowers and shower you with hugs from the grandkids.

To Justin ("The Englishman"), my husband and father of our children- Happy Father's Day 3 times over. We love you times infinity. For all that you've sacrificed for us, we could never repay you. I am in awe that for us you put up with being stuck in a city, working in a cube, commuting on the freeway.....all the things that are opposite of what you'd rather be doing (i.e. adventuring and traveling the world). Someday I hope this life rewards you in ways beyond your dreams.

To my Grandpa Rusty, who passed away in 1994....Happy Father's Day. I love and miss you. I remember so vividly visiting you Payson, chasing butterflies running down the street with butterfly nets. Most importantly, I remember how you greeted me the same way each phone call- whether it had been a week or months since we had last spoken. You'd say to me, "I bet you're growing prettier every single day" and growing up, that was one of very few things that instilled value into me. I knew you didn't mean getting prettier on just outside but developing inner beauty. Dads/Grandpas sometimes don't get the thanks they deserve.

For the 3 dads that have shaped my life (dad, Justin and grandpa), I couldn't be more grateful for you today. I hope no matter where you are, you feel loved today, and every day.

Dear Robert....

2009-06-14T00:34:00.006-07:00

It's almost 1 in the morning and I should be fast asleep but I had to write about this.

My oldest daughter (age 9) is officially in love with Robert Pattinson, or Edward Cullen (from Twilight). And tonight she wrote her first fan letter.

I cannot believe my baby is old enough to have her first real crush, but she is. I remember age 9 like it was yesterday and I am definitely not ready for what's around the corner....but this, is adorable.

Her letter isn't done yet and there are many spelling errors, but it melts my heart. I'll take a photo to go along with this when the camera arrives home from the Englishman's hiking trip.

So far her letter reads:

"Dear Robert,

As you will see at the top, I am Mimi Moore.

I think you are a very great actor.

I bet you had fun in the part of the baseball game.

My father is from England. It is beautiful there.

I am your number one fan."

(I hate to tell her she has competition...namely Bella and about a million others. Bless her little heart).

Last month she said that she was going to grow up and marry Robert Pattinson just like Katie Holmes dreamt of growing up and marrying Tom Cruise (and she did).

My daughter is pretty determined and feisty. Who am I to tell her no, it'll never happen?

Right now she's happily slumbering holding a picture of Rob from the newspaper.

Letting children dream is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give.....so long as they are happy dreams (and she is taught about making correct decisions, using proper judgement and good character to find a boy in real life who is nice) then there's no harm done.

Sleep tight,
HiLy

Sorry....

2009-06-10T20:04:00.005-07:00

I should have said update coming in a few weeks....I heartfully apologize for being a blogger flake!! I started a few different long winded posts and never got to finish them....I hope to get back to them though and share with you some of my recent thoughts.

Anyway....after my last post where I promised to write the next day, what looked like a clear day to write quickly turned into one chaotic event after another. More illness, cars to be taken to the shop, 2 visitors (very welcome and beloved visitors so definitely not complaining) from England and the Cayman Islands to prep for and spend time with.

I look at other men and women who have much more on their plates than I do and still find time to write....kinda puts me in my place. Aside from family, writing has always been my 2ND love so I really do need to endure to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, much more often.

This morning the Englishman and one of his best mates Kris left for an excursion to Humphrey's Peak (north of Flagstaff, AZ). It is a well deserved trip for my husband, he's such a hard worker, and being stuck in the desert is hard for a boy from the seaside. There won't be a sea....but at least there will be green trees and clean cool, crisp air more reminiscent of the UK.

They will be gone for 5 days. 5 days that will be very busy since I am on my own and have 3 little ones missing their daddy but hopefully will give me some good writing time! :-)

For now I am completely cream crackered (UK English meaning knackered or US English meaning exhausted)! I am just getting over another infection that made the left side of my head/jaw/neck feel like it had a knife stuck in it. I don't want to complain but cannot explain the sheer agony it is to go through the day with a smile when feeling like that.....I hope and pray we get to the bottom of this soon, it's been recurring for almost a year and a half and I react to antibiotics which points to a bacterial infection....yet the doctors can't seem to figure out what or where it is. I'm doing all I can do help myself and have faith it will get sorted out eventually but man...it really drains a girl!

I hope all of you have been well- I don't know who really stops by to read this and know you all must have much better things to do, but remember to hug the ones you love and enjoy each moment. Life is a gift. I've been reminded of that a lot lately.....my friend Bridget lost her father less that 2 years after losing her mother. B's back East, I'm out West but she is a shining star that I can see all the way from here. I pray for her during her time of loss and also thank her for being an example of how to carry on. I wish I had such fortitude.

Goodnight everyone...or good morning as the case may be. I'm off to watch Labyrinth with the kids and create more small, simple moments that hopefully they'll remember.

:-)

Hily

Update....

2009-06-01T20:29:00.002-07:00

Coming.....

Tomorrow.....

Promise.

(Sorry for being looong overdue)!

Cheers,
HiLy
xoxo

Almost forgot!

2009-05-17T20:04:00.005-07:00

Do you love the new design of my blog as much as I do? I want to thank Lyndsay (visit her fabulous blog here) from the bottom of my heart for making giving me the gift of a blog that looks a lot more fun, stylish, up-to-date and simply much more cute than anyone else ever could. I love the wise owl and the colors...she got it just right. She's a talented designer, not to mention a wonderful mom and friend. Thanks a billion Lyndsay!! Someday when you are officially back in business, I am sure you will have many a customer-in-waiting banging down your door (for now, keep Mommy-ing Finn and new baby Maya, which is way more important than designing my blog...but you took time out to help me anyway for which I am eternally grateful)!
:-)

Temporarily....

2009-05-17T20:02:00.002-07:00

.....life decided to take over, leaving me almost zero time to write (or do anything else). But this week I will be back. Just wanted to say thanks to you all for stopping by! Have a beautiful Sunday evening!!

Much Love,
Hily

Rub-a-Dub-Dub...

2009-05-02T08:29:00.007-07:00

.....a Sugar Scrub for your tub (OK, shower)!

I needed to take my mind off a few (trillion) things the other day so decided to make a sugar shower scrub for myself and my daughter (and have an extra jar I'm saving for a friend too...which is in the photo).

Growing up, my grandmother owned and operated a health food store. She taught me early on the importance of natural products (she's like a wise medicine woman) so rather than buy chemical-laden store brand scrubs I make my own.

The base recipe is so simple:

2 Cups Granulated Sugar

(or 1 cup granulated, 1 cup brown)

1 cup of olive oil

2/3 cup fresh lemon juice from a lemon

For a real exfoliating experience I added 1/2 cup of coarse kosher sea salt. I also decided to make it a sugar and spice scrub so added:

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon

dash of nutmeg

dash of cloves

Stir it all together and put it in a jar or plastic container. Any extra oil/juice will separate and float to the top so you want to stir it again before each use. I personally don't like the extra oil and juice so I poured mine through cheesecloth to strain it. I use recycled food jars to store the scrub but you could buy the pretty Ball preserve jars and tie a ribbon to it for gift giving.

Rub on and leave for 5-10 minutes and rinse well with warm/hot water. Your skin will thank you for it. The olive oil does wonders for softness and to clear up any irritations.

It's awesome just as a hand scrub too! Leave a little jar by the kitchen sink and whenever your hands are extra dry, rub some on and leave for a while and they'll be baby soft again in no time.

You can add other things rather than the sugar and spice mix....you could add lavender or a little baby oil or instead of sea salt you could add dried grated orange/lemon rind to add an extra scrub factor. Use the base and then use your imagination.

With Mother's Day around the corner I may make some more and give it as a gift. Girls....share this recipe link with your friends, it really is so cheap to make and takes 5 minutes. Guys....make some for your mom, girlfriend or even guy friends who appreciate good skin care! If you want me to make some for you, let me know. I don't have a ton of supplies but could make little samples to send out.

Enjoy!

Celebrating My Flower

2009-04-23T10:01:00.012-07:00

Four years ago today, I had the privilege of becoming the mother of an amazing daughter. She's only turning four years old today but she is an old soul and wise beyond her young years.

Hello world ~ 23 April 2005

Lily Victoria has more empathy and feelings for others (people, animals, fish even bugs) than most adults. It was something she was born with, a natural gift of sensing the heart of those things which surround her.

Lily turns one! 23 April 2006

When I look at her I see a small version of myself, reminding me how very important it is to handle her with care.

Lily at her 2ND birthday swim party ~ April 2007

Every day I aim to set a straight and narrow path in front of her full of love, faith and optimism so that she never loses her way even in a world that surely offer challenges along the way.

And now we are 3 ~Lily on 23 April 2008

As her mother, I can only hope to teach her as much and love her as much as she has already done for our entire family in her short four years of life on earth thus far.

A 4Th birthday kiss from big brother at breakfast~23 April 2009

Lily Victoria, Lily Flower, Piccadilly Lily (aka Picalily), Lilz.....no matter what nickname we call you there is one word that really fits you the best:

ANGEL.
Happy birthday to our little girl who we think is truly out of this world. We love you!

Help Request...

2009-04-22T15:20:00.005-07:00

Hi Friends-

I have been thinking of changing my blog title for some time now. In the world scope of things, it doesn't matter if this blog even has a title at all, but I'm kind of liking the title of that note from Facebook yesterday which was "Hilaryology".

So, I am thinking or renaming my blog "Hilology" or "Hilyology". I like those options better than "Hilaryology" because Hilary is too formal for my liking as all my close friends and family call me Hil or Hily. "Ology" of course means the study of something. And since this blog is a study of my life and life in general, I thought it would be a great fit.

I like the focus on the word hill because my life forever has really been hilly. Life for me has simply never been a smooth field or a plain. It hasn't been a monstrous mountain always requiring climbing either. Just lots of ups and downs for as long as I can remember. I guess one could think of a roller coaster instead but a hill has a more pastoral aura.

I envision that things will be hilly for the rest of my life too because that's what this life is- it's hilly, up and down, peaks and valleys. It's designed this way on purpose, with trials, challenges and obstacles in order to make us better people if we let it. I am grateful for such a wise designer!

Ok so voting is open- Hilology or Hilyology? Or are they pretty much the same? Or does anyone read this blog enough to care? Maybe not (which I'd completely understand)! I'd really love the feedback though even if you are a one time visitor because as my note said yesterday, I am very indecisive! Cheers everyone!

Quick Note....

2009-04-21T10:42:00.003-07:00

....from Facebook. I love Facebook because it only takes a few minutes to connect with all of my friends and family from around the globe. Given my life lately, that really is a blessing to behold!

Things have been a bit stretched on the home-front in many ways (to say the least, more on that to come). And then a stomach bug decided to wreak havoc on the kids and I this past few days as well.

When I checked Facebook today, a hand full of my friends filled out a fun note titled "Thier name + ology". They asked me to do the same, so my note is titled "Hilaryology". It looks weird with two "Y's" in there but that's OK! It was a nice break to fill it out and take a few minutes to reflect.

It is a way to quickly share things that maybe we wouldn't be able to otherwise. I thought I would share it here too, just for those of you who maybe are wondering what the heck may be floating around in my mind this morning.

Here goes:

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology."

***********FOODOLOGY***************
1)What is your salad dressing of choice?
Blue Cheese
2)What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Anita's Cocina in Wickenburg (it's my hangout with Grandma)
3)What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Tortilla Chips and Salsa
4)What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pineapple, mushrooms, ham, black olives, pepperoni (not all together but in different combos)
5)What do you put on your toast??
Butter and sometimes honey

***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1)How many televisions are in your house?
3- too many!
2)What color cell phone do you have?
Red
3)Do you have an Ipod?
A first generation Nano

***************BIOLOGY******************
1)Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right
2)Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
5 babies (3 full term and 2 that didn't make it), tonsils and tissue samples
3)What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Lily- she's almost 4 and getting tall!
4)Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No but have fainted before when expecting Lily

************BULLOLOGY**************
1)If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No thanks, I'd be too sad.
2)If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Esme. I have loved that name forever (yes even before Twilight). If I were ever to have another daughter I'd seriously think of using it.
3)Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
If it were very mild!

************DUMBOLOGY******************
1)How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
One pair that I wear non-stop
2)Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Dana Point, California- 4 of July 2007. It was fine in the end but I was not thrilled with their behavior toward my small children
3)Last person you talked to?
My kids as we said goodbye and blew each other kisses as they went off to school
4)Last person you hugged?Ramey

**************FAVORITEOLOGY****************
1)Season?
Autumn
2)Holiday?
Christmas
3)Day of the week?
Still Monday, despite having a few bad ones lately

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1)Missing someone?
Always
2)Mood?
A little forlorn but grateful as ever
3)What are you listening to?
Lots of birds chirping outside in the palm trees
4)Watching:Nothing
5)Worrying about?
Not living up to my potential

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1)First place you went this morning?
Outside in the morning sun to stretch....getting over the flu and feeling like someone has beaten my ribcage so I needed a good stretch. Ouch.
2)What's the last movie you saw?
I can't remember the last movie I saw in the cinema but yesterday I watched the 1931 Dracula on DVD for the first time.....they just don't make many good movies like that anymore I've decided. Talk about good acting!
3)Do you smile often?
I try to
4)Sleeping Alone Tonight?
Not unless I sleep outside on the camping cot

***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
1)Do you always answer your phone?
Almost never. Really. I'm usually distracted with the kids and miss it.
2) 4 o clock in the morning and you get a text. Who is it?
Someone in England where it would be midday over there.
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?Green!
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Cherry but I'm trying to wean myself off of sugary drinks.
5) Do you own a digital camera?
Indeed!
6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
I have always had a Siamese Fighting fish (still do) because they live forever in a tiny bowl with a little food and I find them pretty to look at.
7) Favorite Christmas song(s)?
O Holy Night
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday
Peacefulness
9) Can you do push ups?
Do wall push ups count?
10) Can you do a chin up?
Highly unlikely but I wish I could
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited- things can always get better
12) Do you have any saved texts?
Yes
13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Two- one pretty bad one where I would have been smashed to death had I been about 3 feet further out into the road
14) Do you have an accent?
I've been told I have an oddly interesting "Cali Surfer Girl- Texan- English" combination accent
15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Nessun Dorma, it always does
16) Plans tonight?
Watching " Tales of Desperaux" with the kids
17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Absolutely
18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Nothing. At. All.
19) Have you ever been given roses?
Yes, I love them.
20) Current worry?
Many, many things... mostly worries about others that I wish I could help fix for them
21) Current hate right now?
This economy
22) Met someone who changed your life?
My little ones
23) How will you bring in the New Year?
Asleep or up with Ramey watching the ball drop in NYC on telly
24) What song represents you?
The Trick Is To Keep Breathing by Garbage (not all of the lyrics, but definitely the title seems fitting lately...I'm sure everyone can relate once in a while).
25) Name three people who might complete this?
Tiffany, Tina and Tricia if they have time and are so inclined
26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes indeed
27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year solid?
Yep
28) Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
My ears are pierced twice
29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
I think so!
30) Does anyone love you?
Yes, but mostly the ones who are related to me and have to by default!
31) Would you be a pirate?
No, but I really like Jack Sparrow!
32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
I usually rush through my showers with kids knocking down the door so rarely have time to sing.
33) Ever had someone sing to you?
Yes
34) When did you last cry?
Last Thursday, Friday and Saturday too- hard week!
35) Do you like to cuddle?
Yes- last night Caed tried to curl up in my lap like a baby but his legs are too long! They grow up so dang fast!
37) Have you held hands with anyone today?
With Caed when I woke him up and walked him out of his room so he wouldn't fall over (I do this every morning because he's always half asleep for a while)!
38) Who was the last person you took a picture of?
the kids on Easter
39) What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?Madonna- I remember my mom getting me the cassette with the song "Lucky Star" for my birthday and my friends and I jumping around with excitement.... I think I was 7 or 8.
40) Do you believe in staying close with your ex's?
I have remained friends with all of them except a few- one whom hurt me so much he'd probably never speak to me anyway.
41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A good mix of lifelong and new....love them all. I'd truly be lost without my friends.
42) Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes!
43) What is something your friends make fun of you for?
My indecisiveness, clumsiness, my hair, or my tendency to worry too much!

Top 3....

2009-04-08T16:58:00.006-07:00

.....reasons why I haven't written (and yes, none of them are really good reasons. I have promised myself to make up for my lack of March journal entries soon, man I've been a slacker!).

1) Exhaustion (sleep deprivation, no visits to the Land of Nod, lack of ZZZ's.....giving me that Zombie mom glow we all know looks so good on me).

2) Puppy with Valley Fever getting worse, sigh (which has caused amounts of crying over Marley and Me that I thought was humanly impossible....losing a pet is harder than I remember).

3) Little sister ailing (her heart is not quite keeping up in her sleep we've learned).

There are more reasons but I'll spare you. Afterall, I titled this post Top 3, not top 100 reasons I haven't written.

Remember the friend I wrote about a while ago when her husband lost her job (again)? He accidentally shot himself through the hand while cleaning his gun Sunday. Again, she astounds me with her grit to get through the unexpected. As many trials as we all have going on, I honestly don't know what more one little family can have thrown at them. It's making me count my blessings a second time today.

For my happy note....here's my oldest ray of sunshine Mimi doing what she does best which is helping her dear ol' mum (a-hem, me) get through another long day with a smile and an I love you (in sign language, which she loves). This was taken last weekend after a long day of gardening in her sundress with us. I am sooooooo grateful beyond words for this little bundle of energy and beauty; she simply radiates light from within. Mimi, I love you more than you'll ever know. You're totally wicked cool.

Attack of the Triffids....

2009-03-26T10:36:00.006-07:00

The gardening is taking over every aspect of my family's life- the various plants and their contant care make me feel like a new baby is in the house (guess that'll help with the baby hunger issue)! Since I last wrote we have created a raised bed, and a sunken bed that is half way done.

I have literally not had time to write, but I miss my "therapy" so had to sit down and take one minute to at least start this post even if it'll only be half done when I publish (no time on hand to upload photos).

Between kids, home, school, the Englishman, health, spirituality, wanting to help a few friends going through a really hard time, worrying about my Grandma, not to mention all the other issues on hand concerning the world at large etc, etc I feel a bit stretched.

But it's a good stretch, one we all need from time to time. It's tiring but also good to feel needed in many different areas....instead of complaining about all the worries and concerns I'm soaking them up and remembering to enjoy life and the bumps along the way. I still wish I had a magic wand at times of course.

Here's what is demanding all our family's attention as of late:

Bell Peppers
Banana Peppers
Honeydew melon
Cabbage
Sweet Corn
Watermelon
Yellow Zucchini
Sweet Peas
2 types of Carrots
2 types of Tomatoes
Lettuce
Spring/Green Onions
Leeks
Jalapenos
Cucumbers
and Sunflowers for fun

IF we can keep everything alive and growing, I'll have plenty to share. I'm also searching for some good pickling recipes in hopes that I will be able to make pickles for my Mimi (she loves them)....so if you have any, please leave one for us all. :-)

Life...

2009-03-18T20:52:00.002-07:00

has been crazy busy. Today's announcement of the death of the English actress Natasha Richardson (following a ski accident) has reminded me to take a moment and just write down quickly that life is such a gift- it's so fleeting and unpredictable. I am remembering tonight to count my many blessings. As hard as life can be, I'm so glad to be living it.....tears and all, life is a miracle and a gift.

Texas Hot Cocoa Cake (and utter randomness)

2009-03-11T09:36:00.014-07:00

A lot of you who are my friends in real life have either eaten and loved (or have heard me talk about and want to try) my Grandma's Texas Hot Cocoa cake. It's a "secret" family recipe that is no longer secret because well, I caved in and gave it to my friend Lyndsay for her awesome recipe sharing blog (which you can find by clicking on the cake link a few lines back). Lyndsay went to the hospital yesterday in labor to have her new baby girl so it would be uncool if I didn't give her a shout out..so Lyndsay, Wes and Finn have fun welcoming BG (Baby Girl) Johnson to the world! I am happy she didn't make you wait until Friday the 13th and I can't wait to learn her name! Between Lyndsay's baby girl and holding my friend Christi's new baby boy Zander on Monday (not to mention another friend expecting a baby soon, a few more trying and other friends adopting), I am becoming very baby hungry....hurry, change of topic!

I think I just met our new neighbors who made an offer on the house next door to us(their offer was accepted...it's a huge 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom giant house, such a steal at 100,000). I think they're Vietnamese and am really hoping they are because I love Vietnamese food (especially from Cyclo). Maybe I can become their new best friend in Mesa and they can teach me some new cooking methods! Either way, they seem nice enough and quiet....I hope our kids shenanigans in the back garden don't prompt any phone calls/complaints to the police (they tend to get a little loud at times despite my shushing them over and over and over and over).

I've been a bit exhausted the past week or so following the re-decorating of the bedroom....it really was draining (but fun, and I still love the green)! Our plan was to rest this past weekend (to make up for all the hard work of the weekend before) but that didn't happen. All the kids weren't feeling their best so that meant mom (i.e. me) stayed up most nights comforting them (I'm not complaining, there's nothing I'd rather do)! Then I came down with another mini-cold which now luckily seems to not be getting worse- small miracle!

Late Saturday afternoon, the Englishman decided to build a greenhouse/cold frame (whatever you want to call it)....basically a warm little house full of moisture for our veggie plants. He built our new little veggie house out of our old box springs that were just tossed onto the back patio during our room makeover (they were just sitting there waiting to be thrown out on a bulk pick up day so he just decided it had to be able to be used for something)! He had fun dismantling it and getting some stress out. First he had to rip all the fabric/cloth off and then had to remove all the metal staples holding the wires to the wooden frame, then he had to unhook all of it. He took the wooden frame apart and then put it back together, covered it with tarps and wha-la, our greenhouse was born. And we are saving the metal framing from the box springs to use as a trellis or veggie frame for our cucumbers, etc. It ended up being a really awesome project in recycling and in this economy I was happy to save the money that we would have spent buying new timber (which yes, he was planning on going to Home Depot the following weekend to do just that). I was assigned the lovely task of picking up the dozens of metal staples that went flying all over the patio and into the patio carpet which tangled up nicely together (it was fun trying to pull them all out of the carpet without gouging myself....anyone who knows me, knows I am a klutz)! Here are a few pics of our new veggie house and plants:

On a totally different note, I'm re-thinking the name of my blog, again. I keep going back and forth and everything I think of and use just isn't sitting right. I'll think of something that'll stick eventually. Thank you to those of you who read my blog, no matter the name. It's brilliant to see the dots from around the world of people who have stopped by. To be honest, I set this blog up mainly for my children to someday know what their mom was thinking and for myself to focus on the good things in my life but if it can connect me to other moms (or anyone else of course who gets something out of my ramblings about not-so-important things) then that is a gift. The more the merrier!

On the surface, I detest technology because I pride myself all things vintage, but technology in it's purest form can be used for so much good and to connect people together who otherwise would never meet. Personal blogs in particular, where a lot of us write about what is closest to our hearts, show that we share a common thread that loops around the globe. That thread = we humans who cherish our own lives and those in it. Our words share with others what makes us tick, makes our spirits soar, what we believe in, what gets under our skin and mostly, what inspires us to be more. What could be cooler than that (aside from making those same things take precedence in our real lives every day)?

Speaking of which....I promised our children today that we would make fresh squeezed lemonade, and I can't wait (only 1 hour and 10 minutes until they get out of school)!

Remember: hug the ones you love.

The new room...

2009-03-03T13:16:00.004-07:00

.....is done. Ok, so it's not really a new room as you know, it's the old ugly room that I posted photos of before we ventured out on the extreme makeover weekend. The experience was great (there were a few tense moments like when my husband dropped the bed frame on his toes poor guy). The whole thing has left us a bit bruised and beaten as we did battle with tape and the spray machine then had to build all the furniture- it took from early Sat morning until late Monday night. But it was worth it. I'm glad we went ahead with the project (even though I hate spending the little money we have on anything other than necessities right now). And I'm happy that I have such a hard-working spouse with grit and determination.

We really need new curtains to go with the new room, and I have a lot of touching up to do and a few paint splatters to clean off of the doors but all in all, I love it! The Englishman loves it. The kids love it (and now want their rooms decorated pronto). Even Jonah the puppy (who now officially has Valley Fever by the way) loves it and walked all the way into the room from outside to see what all the fuss was about (walking is very hard for him right now so that was a big thing). :-)

The green turned out waaaay brighter than I thought it would, we ended up going with a paint from Ace Hardware called "grasshopper wing" because it was a close match for the "apple green" sample I had. So, while it's a little on the neon side it's also an instant pick me up- just what we need some days.

What do you think??

Seriously...what do you think? Is it too green? :-)

Totally Mundane

2009-02-25T10:05:00.007-07:00

After yesterday's sock fire, today seems to be settling in quietly for a change (which is the only reason I am able to write another entry within 24 hours of the last one). Nobody has gotten hurt, sick, or started anything aflame!

Consider it the quiet before the storm though because this weekend, we are finally transforming this (and it's not going to be pretty, well, in the end I hope it will be, but the before and during process...not so much):

Our "very much in need of something different" bedroom

This is our bedroom, which has pretty much looked this way since we moved in during the Autumn of 2007. The furniture is from my Grandma, probably from the 1940s or 50s which I love, but it's really distressed and my husband hates it that the paint is chipping off. I cannot part with it though so it's going into our girls' bedroom, maybe someday I will repaint it.

The lady who owned our house for 50 plus years was in her 90s when she passed away (right before we bought the home) and I think she had the same curtains for almost as long. They have charm to them (if you could see them up close you'd see the cute songbirds and leaves- all in brown) but again, Hubster cannot stand them. I will probably try to recycle the fabric for something as it's really good, heavy fabric- the kind you can't find anymore not to mention be able to afford in today's economic climate.

Built-in shelves are really cool, but as you can see mine are totally unorganized (anyone who knows me will know that I really am unorganized but seem to be able to find everything still without trouble). Organization is a goal of mine though, in every part of my life- so the shelves will be a good place to start.

The Englishman wanted to paint the room a dark royal blue, but as you can maybe see through our open bedroom door, our living room (which is gigantic) is a deep orchid blue/purple color which is beautiful, but dark enough to please Dracula. So I wanted something cheerier for the bedroom....I'm not afraid of bold colors, just don't want anymore dark colors. So we're going with apple green and white.

What is paying for this? A work bonus that we weren't expecting, but are very happy and blessed to have received (despite the lack of pay raise we are truly lucky to even have a job)! We are doing it on the cheap- Ikea here we come (for some new bedroom furniture)! But hopefully it'll be enough to lighten every one's moods around here- it's been a hard year. And hopefully the job will continue to be secure, otherwise it'll be a big waste of money....personally I'd save this money for a billion other things, but since it's his bonus money, he gets the final say. I cannot argue that I find it endearing that he cares about having a nice bedroom to relax in and look at.

Here's to hoping we get through the weekend without a major catastrophe...and that the green turns out the shade we hope it will.... it's my favorite color in the entire world, but know it can backfire. Fingers crossed. I will post some after pictures when we are done, if I survive the adventure!

Kaboom: Story of an almost house fire

2009-02-24T09:52:00.012-07:00

This week certainly started with a bang and hasn't let up. First of all, the kids, OK, my son opened the door onto my head the other day at full speed and I had a huge bump, now a nice green bruise that really hurts. But that's OK, nothing I can't live with. It's good to have some sense literally knocked into one's head now and again right? Another count-your-many-blessings moments happened this morning but it could have been a lot more disastrous than having one's head hit with a door.

This morning....a sock caught on fire. Yep, one little sock that almost burned the entire house down. It's a long story. But basically, because I dry my clothes on the line and do not own a dryer (and they are often still not dry the next morning with the cold weather), I sometimes throw a pair of socks in the microwave for say, one minute to warm them up for whomsoever's tootsies they will be covering.

Well, I did that this morning.....put a pair of the husband's socks in for one minute to warm up and I heard the timer go off and I just left them in there to sit for a moment. It sounds weird, I know, but it works (and I even put them on a plate just like food).

I went outside to bring in the rest of the socks to finish warming up in the house during the day, and I walked in to a house full of smoke and the kids saying "what is that smell?" Mr. Awesome (aka the husband) was running around looking for something on fire. He found it- in the shoe and sock basket.

A sock, like a glowing ember, smoking and literally singed with fiery red holes with the fibres burning and spreading, smoking more and more and growing into a flame. I grabbed the sock and carried it to the sink, turned the water on full blast and then drowned it in a full sink.

Mr. Awesome probably would have kept holding the burning sock until it caught his hand on fire- he one time set himself on fire in England while lighting a barbecue but that's a story for another day. He likes fire....a little too much and so do a lot of other English people I observed while living in England. There is a town not far from where we lived where people run through the streets carrying barrels on fire! I have no idea why; I should find it on Wikipedia.

Anyway, I'm guessing Lilz pushed the "quick on" button on the microwave again and started the socks smoking....and then she took them out and put them in the basket by the front door (she's really into putting things where they go) and once the oxygen/air hit the almost on fire sock it actually started to catch on fire. If we hadn't found it when we did the whole basket would have caught on fire....it was starting to burn a hole in the basket, and who knows from there what could have happened.

The basket with the little burned hole

I'm posting some photos to show all of this...because it almost sounds made up. But seriously, this is how life goes in our house. There's never a dull moment! It reminds of the time last year when Lilz put a plastic plate from her tea set in our real oven (I had no idea it was in there), I went to turn it on to bake a cake, the plastic melted and set on fire and we had to call the firemen for the first of many times now.

What remains of a once white sock

This morning after the sock on fire incident, Mr. Awesome said to us, "you guys are determined to burn this house down aren't you?" Ummm, no, we just have a very imaginative little girl who mommy obviously needs to watch like a hawk a little bit more.....because she of course must have inherited the pyromaniac gene from her British pyromaniac father. The microwave is now going to be unplugged unless in actual use by the way.

All I can say in closing is...thank goodness for small miracles.

Perspective...

2009-02-16T08:32:00.005-07:00

is something I have decided that I quickly lose sight of when I'm sick or in pain or hurt (for a shining example: see my entry right before this one where I did out-whined my 3 year old). Now that the antibiotics have kicked in and I don't feel like I have a knife stuck in the side of my throat I can see clearly again. I am glad it's Monday which is the opposite of most people. The weekend was good, and bad, kinda how it goes sometimes, but all in all I'm just glad to be out of pain and once again, really happy to be alive experiencing everything that comes my way (even if it makes me cry like certain events that made me weep yesterday....think of The Gift of the Magi story by O Henry gone awry). So, I see Monday as a fresh start- the way most people see the first day of the new year, I feel it a blessing to start a new week and leave any of the previous week's hardships in the dust.

When I think about people who are in constant pain and learn to handle it with a smile on their face (a real one), I am in total awe. Like so many of the young children I've been privileged to get to know this past year who have been assaulted by cancer- a nephew and a niece (not related) of high school friends. One of whom already lost his sweet young life to cancer and the other, a beautiful little girl who is still battling her fight. If they can smile through their pain then certainly I, as a grown up, can too.

Then you can take my grandmother for another example who I had a really great conversation with yesterday on the phone. Despite being in kidney failure and having recently fallen out of bed and being all bruised up, she shared the most wickedly funny stories with me with that same sense of humor that she has had for 85 years no matter what was thrown her way.

I'm grateful for the constant reminders from those who are so much stronger and braver than I am. They are the best teachers in the world....and boy do I have so much more learning to do. I'm learning that patience and perspective are two totally different things, I once upon a time believed because I was patient that's all that mattered, but am now realizing that keeping things positive during turmoil is what really counts. Having the patience of a Saint doesn't equate to happiness, but finding the meaning during trials does. Next time I get so sick I promise not to whine (cry, maybe).... I will hand all the whining off to my children to take care of (since they, as children are allowed).

Sick

2009-02-12T16:26:00.003-07:00

...of being sick. That's me. I just got home from the doctor and I have strep throat, a sinus infection and an ear infection on top of the pesky thyroid tumor which is running my entire immune system down. Oh, and for pure joy I get to go get something done called a Thyroid Up Take Scan (they now want to do that before they will do a biopsy....they seem to have to do every ultrasound now known to man before actually testing the tissue). Our co-pay went up and they took an hour just to get me in the room (glad I picked the kids up early from school to take them with me) because they couldn't find my chart and then they couldn't find me in my insurance company's system. And they want to do more blood testing but they wouldn't do it today because I'm too sick....so I get to go back next week after I'm done with the anti-biotics. I would like a new body now please and thank you. I know it could be so much worse, but I just want to cry. I'm only 33 and feel about 100. The fun part (for real)? The kids blew up the medical gloves (well, I blew up the medical gloves) and played doctor....my son's was an alien of course, and my youngest one made hers a chicken. My oldest decided to deflate her gloves and play doctor this time. She said the alien had a skull fracture and the chicken's knees had infections....and she promptly looked in her medical book (i.e. Martha Stewart Living) for which medicines they all needed. My son sat and studied the anatomy books like they were the coolest thing ever. So all in all, if one of them becomes inspired to be a doctor or nurse, this will have been well worth it. Maybe they'll be the ones to finally heal me. :-)

Baby Number One

2009-02-05T08:47:00.006-07:00

Mimi, whale watching, Dana Point, California Summer 07

Most of you are probably on Facebook with me so I apologize that this is a repeat- but I thought it was awesome thinking back to Mimi's birth almost 9 years ago. It's made me all nostalgic, so am turning it into a journal entry here on my blog. Just to explain- the reason I didn't want to tell Justin first is because we were living in a basement and he was working nights, we had just moved from England to Arizona and a baby was a bit of a shocker. Turns out though that he was soooo excited (obviously) and the day Mimi was born is the only day I've seen him actually cry (he teared up with the other two but not the streaming kind of tears like the day he held his firstborn daughter...my favorite memory ever). What a blessing it is to be a mother, whether we give birth or adopt or just nuture any child when others cannot or will not....it certainly is a miracle to behold. This morning, as I tried to comfort our now almost 9 year old first born begging me if she could stay home from school (because she's having trouble making a new best friend at her new school), I remembered so vividly holding her as a newborn, crying with colic pains and rocking her for hours, but being filled with joy to hear the screams because it meant that I was a mother. I would do almost anything to turn back the clock and go back to those days...it's true what they say, children grow up way too fast.

First Born Survey
Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself! Then tag some mommy friends! Let's see how much you remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Nope, I was on the pill and went sand boarding when I was about a month along and didn't know (and threw myself off a sand dune).

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Absolute wonderment and fright all rolled up together.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Never

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I started having morning sickness morning, noon and night

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Tricia or Tatiana, anyone but Justin

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes, I found out on my birthday it was a girl

9. DUE DATE? 2 May 2000

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? on and off all day for a few weeks

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Papa John's plain bread sticks

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? The pitocin drip to actually start the contractions- thought I was dying

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? girl

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? No

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 10, I was so sick that I was skinnier after I gave birth than before (can't say the same for the rest of my babies)

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? i knew

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? yes, she was late and the meconium leaked- when my water broke it was neon green.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Chandler regional Hospital

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? i arrived at the hospital around 2am and she was born at 5pm, so that was 15 hours just at the hospital but it was longer than that if you add in the home time. i pushed for 3 hours straight

21. WHO WAS THERE WHEN YOU GAVE BIRTH? Justin, the doctors and nurses and my mom somewhere

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural, my epidural had worn off because they wanted me to "feel" what i was doing- nice eh?

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? For a while yes

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 6 lbs. 13 oz.

25.WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? 5 PM on the dot, 9 May 2000, Dave Gahan's birthday which my sister was very excited about

26. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 8 going on 80, she's an old soul like her mom.

Some Days

2009-02-03T15:51:00.007-07:00

Let's be honest, some days are really, really not the best (even if we are grateful for every day we have in life). Things could always been worse though, which is something I like to always tell myself (a billion times over) when I have a bad day. But, if life had a rewind button I'm sure many of us would use it. Wouldn't you? Or am I wrong? Maybe I should create a poll on that. Yesterday was a day like that for me, today hasn't been much better....although I haven't managed to upset someone (not that I know of) today yet so that has one up on yesterday.

To that certain someone that I love very much who I kinda missed completely at the light rail station last night (despite driving around looking and subsequently that certain someone feeling like he'd been forgotten and then walking home 2 miles only to be locked out of the house wondering where if his wife and 3 children had been car-jacked, kidnapped or killed in an accident), all I can say is....forgive me. There's nothing quite like a self-esteem killer than disappointing the person you're meant to make happy. Those are the days I want to go live in a dark cave and not come out but that's a rather defeatist attitude as my husband would point out.

So, that was last night, and then today my body of course let me down, again. If my body were an actual seperate person, I don't think I'd like her very much....I'm glad my inner-spirit isn't as hard as my body is on myself (if that makes sense). I ended up with yet another medical situation that came somewhat out of the blue that landed me promptly in the doctor's office around 1pm this afternoon. I'll be ok, and I'll spare you the gory, boring details....but it is something that makes me as a mother a little sad and also a good reminder of how fragile life is. I'll let you use your imagination. No, nobody told me I only have 4 weeks left to live THANK goodness.

My lesson learned from the past 48 hours is just how quickly life can change. I guess that yesterday maybe we could have been killed in a car crash (rather than just missing our Englishman at the station...or maybe he could have just as easily gotten hurt along the way home), or today at the doctor as hard as it was, could have been worse (there I go with my age old adage again).

As much as I'd like to erase certain mistakes I make, I wouldn't ever want to not be here to mess up royally because how else can we learn to be better (or in my case at least try to be) or fully appreciate life and all sides of it? I'm still mad at myself for making my husband full of fear last night, but sure am glad we are both still here to keep each other company. With that being said, if anyone finds a remote control where I can rewind yesterday....let me know because I still would have rather not upset anyone at all, ever.

Ode to...

2009-02-02T13:53:00.014-07:00

.......Mr. Tanner.

Place: Dobson High, Mr. Turner's math class
Date: 1994
What: Inspiring Words that have never left me

Sometime this past week my oldest daughter decided to go through a box of my papers from high school and of course, they ended up scattered through out the house. Are you shocked? What else would my kids do with a box of my papers? It's a rule to throw them all over the place like a NYC ticker tape parade! She also had fun laughing at my old yearbooks and wondering why I wasn't a cheerleader, or should say scolding me for not being one.

So on Saturday I was hoovering (UK)/vacuuming (US) and my amazing new hoover (which actually works and does what it should) grabbed the corner of a paper sticking out from underneath my daughter's bedroom door into the hallway. See photo proof of how the piece of paper was almost completely destroyed.

I turned off the hoover and rescued the paper, of course I didn't know what it was but I never keep anything that isn't important so figured it was a birth certificate, or a first drawing or something equally as crucial.

But ironically it was actually something I was thinking about after I wrote my last entry about dreams. When I started asking in my last journal entry to start pondering about what happiness was, this paper was one thing that actually popped into my own mind. On this piece of paper were printed words that offered my younger self an early glimpse into what happiness should be, and from what sources it would never come from. As an adult the words mean more to me than they probably ever did to the 17 year old version of myself who originally held this piece of paper in her hands- an earlier version of myself who thought that by age 33 years old (a-hem, in other words by now) life would certainly be perfectly blissful all day every day, 24/7/365. This piece of paper contains some of the most awesome advice that a high school student could have ever hoped to receive- it is Mr. Tanner's "first day of math class" note.

For the record, I was, and am and will be forever more dreadful at math. If it weren't for my fear of math I would have become an oceanographer, or nurse, or architect, or any number of things that I wanted to be had it not been for my math struggles growing up. One time I even had a math teacher in junior high tell me that the left side of my brain must not have fully developed (at least he got fired for saying something so rude....I was a straight A student aside from math, but not because the left side of my brain never developed)!

I thought I would dislike Mr. Tanner based on the fact that I disliked math. Ended up I really liked him as a human being though and here is why, based on what he said to us in his note which reads:

"What is your passion? What is your dream? What drives you to accomplish that which no one else has? To be willing to stand up and make a difference in a society where people fear to be different? Are you one step ahead or one step behind the crowd? We cannot afford to waste our precious days for they will vanish as quickly as they come.

Will you be ordinary or extraordinary? Excellence has a price tag and many refuse to pay it.

Do you have a voice? Then speak out in the appropriate time. Use wisdom to guide your passion and reams to speak out that which burns in your soul. Let your tongue be set on fire to those words which are righteous and true.

Do you believe you were created for a purpose? Then set your sights on the things above and focus all your passion on that dream until you fulfill your destiny.

Will you be like the majority or the minority? Even if you lost everything but your life, your faith is more important than anything the world has to offer. Don't trade it in or pawn it off when times get tough or for the temporal pleasures of the world.

Never settle for second best for it will leave you like the rest. Easy paths are seldom fulfilling and often make crooked men. Take risks and soar above everyone else. Remember one final note. In all that you accomplish, keep your motives pure and never seek position or prestige. For by doing so you will the world by the motivation of love."

I don't know if Mr. Tanner actually wrote this, or if someone else did and he just loved the words as much as I do...but either way, I will always attribute it to him until I know someone else actually wrote it. My favorite line is about the idea of losing everything- and how faith is the one thing you can live with even with nothing else in the world. Maybe it's not just faith, but definitely love, family, friends and humanity of course. In this day and age, many of us are learning what is really important...the economy is stealing everything away from many of us. Suddenly the latest fashions, coolest gadgets and a brand new car every other year are things that many of us just cannot afford anymore, well, unless we don't want to put food on the table.

Mr. Tanner's note says it all to me really. Things in the end are nothing. Your outlook and the people you surround yourself with are really all that you can take with you in the end....and even if you don't believe you can take it with you (I do but know not everyone does), these are still the things that really make life worth living. It's probably illegal nowadays for a teacher to hand something like this out to students, sadly. Even if now, the state of the paper itself makes it look like could care less, the truth is that it's one of my prized possessions. I wonder if Mr. Tanner is still at Dobson?

Dreams..

2009-01-27T14:19:00.004-07:00

Dreams.
What are they?
Can they be real?
Or are they meant to just inspire us to keep going and never give up?
Before I woke up this morning I had a vivid dream about a car crash. Not just a fender bender- but the type of crash where the car goes flying up in the air, spins and then lands plowing face first into the ground. That one is a dream that I hope to NOT experience in real life.
The past week or so, and in particular the past 24 hours I've been thinking about dreams in every sense of their meaning.
There are dreams that I actually dream...like the recurring one where I am running down a long dirt road lined with tall trees with something chasing me. I guess that would be more of a recurring nightmare.
Then there's the happy recurring dream of a peaceful newborn baby boy yet to be born (maybe he will be, maybe he won't and if not the three children I have give me more than enough contentment).
There are the dreams that I hope to live out....going to the Valley of the Kings, hiking Hadrian's wall, or simply tending to my grandmother's beautiful cactus garden until I am the age that she is now (coming up to a beautiful, spirited 85 years old).
There are the dreams of those I love, and whether or not I can ever help their dreams to come true and help them find joy.
Mainly I think about the dreams of my children.
And my dream for them- to always love and to be loved.
For myself, my own dream is simple.
I am not sure if all dreams come to life, but I hope this one will always be true:
My Dream = Happiness.

(Up next....what is happiness? Ponder for a moment if you will ).

Basket....

2009-01-21T16:31:00.007-07:00

Sheer basket case. That's me since I last wrote. Not in a bad way. It's not because I'm freaking out or scared or angry. It's all good. It's more overwhelmingly feeling this amazing sense of awe in everything. Why? I have no idea. I have been crying on and off for the past few days over the most odd things, like commercials, songs, sunsets, and yes, even the Inauguration....who knew Yo Yo Ma would make me break down? Happy tears. And no, I'm not expecting a surprise baby (which is usually the case for me crying over every little thing). I feel really grateful to be alive. There is so much more in my mind, tons of words I'd like to put down, but can't because dinner needs to be started not to mention there is a scheduled Blogger outage in 20 minutes and I'd like to get this posted. For utter randomness, I wanted to share a photo of me and Lilz that Daddy-O took this past Saturday. I look awful, but it's a miracle to me to see how exactly alike our eyes are, it gives me hope and peace to know that through my children I will live on someday (hopefully in an upstanding way, but regardless, part of me will always be with them; not that I plan on going anywhere anytime soon but hopefully this is making sense). The spuds are beckoning me to be baked.......and another miracle, Happy Birthday to my dear friend Tricia on her 33rd (I remember turning 15 together thinking it was so cool that I beat her to it by 10 days but when I hit 33 10 days ago I envied her for still being 32). I love growing older with lifelong friends...and again, feel another tear welling up.

Suggestions?

2009-01-18T13:12:00.003-07:00

A quick note to say my hair is really driving me nuts...truly. I have very thick naturally curly hair (think Nicole Kidman in her Days of Thunder days). I would like something new. Anyone have any ideas? Should I go short so I can actually style it? I don't have the body type or face shape to pull off short hair. Also color- it NEEDS to be dyed. Should I go red (I have natural copper highlights or did at one time), or honey? I need help. :-) Totally frivolous entry, I know, but needed to get it out. Does anyone know a really good stylist who can work with curls? I don't have the money yet, but hope to someday, to actually go see someone who can work some magic on my dreaded locks. Ok, back to more important things.

Anyway (Words to Live By)

2009-01-17T20:15:00.006-07:00

It's been quite the week around the old red brick house.

I've been beyond exhausted in more than one way, physically, emotionally, mentally....pretty much in any way, shape or form.

In the words of the most adorable daughter in the world, Mimi, "I'm punched." (I don't know where she came up with this term but she uses it when she runs out of steam).

I have about a million words I could write to share with you all the experiences and feelings I've been having this week but I found a woman who sums it up better than I ever could.

Mother Teresa. How can one even sum up this insightful human being?
Growing up LDS, I naturally many those great teachers of my own faith but also those of other faiths who transcended the label of any particular religion. Those who honored spirituality and the divine, no matter the creed.

Mother Teresa was one of those people for me as I grew. The Dalai Lama was another. I think some people are put here as teachers for all of us, those two being a few I admire at the top of my list right alongside many others who I am sure I will mention as time passes.

This writing by Mother Teresa reflects what I've been feeling today and all week (and much of my life) so wanted to share and remind us all that:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Darkness and Light

2009-01-15T16:17:00.006-07:00

I know, I know, I already wrote a novel once today so promise this will be short especially as I have a sinus headache.

A study in darkness and light, just taught to me by one person, a lifelong friend who learned some bad news this afternoon.

On the darkness front, I knew immediately that it would feel like a punch in the gut for her family and the why us questioning would surely follow.

On the light front, I saw how she reacted to the news and thought about how much I admire her for not turning immediately to anger but going and seeking solace at the temple. I know a lot of you reading this may not be LDS like she is (and I am) but no matter what your religion, or even if you aren't religious, I just admire anyone who chooses to lemonade out of lemons.

To turn to something, anything positive (whether it's your family, charity, church, etc) that will take your mind off of the immediate unfairness of a situation is a lesson I know that I need to learn for myself.

I thank this particular friend and all my other friends who are a good examples of being graceful and appreciative of life even when it seems it is at it's worst.

Life is so short, it may not be fair, but I am trying to remember to enjoy the ride.

Winston

2009-01-15T11:08:00.011-07:00

Today, Winston Churchill has become the theme of my day so to speak. I just went on a walk with Lilz up and down Cherry Street and reflected on his life and my own. So I've decided to write up a quick history lesson about Sir Winston and put into words for my children something that they can learn from him. After that I will follow it up with just why I'm thinking of this hero of mine today. History is the subject nearest and dearest to my heart, but do understand that isn't the case for most people so I ask those of you who find it dreadfully boring to bear with me. :-)

History Lesson #1 for the Moore Children (and any other children who may stumble across this page):

Once upon a time, there was a very brave man name Sir Winston Spencer Churchill who was born in Oxfordshire, England in on 30 November 1874 . His father was a British aristocrat and his mother was an American heiress. He grew up to be a soldier, a war correspondent, a writer and painted many watercolors. He had a wife named Clementine whom he loved dearly. He later became a politician, elected to the House of Commons at the young age of 26. He later became Prime Minister. He was the wisest man around with very good insight into people's characters and had almost a psychic ability to predict what was down the road for the British Empire and it's allies including America. He could sense trouble brewing abroad before anyone else could or would even look at the situation. He saw trouble from Germany ages before anyone else did. Many people (naysayers) did not believe him and thought him to be a kook. Finally his fears started to become real and others began believing him when they saw the proof of the things Winston had been telling them all along. Because Winston spoke up, he ended up saving most of the westernized realm on earth from that evil man named Hitler. But if people would have listened to him sooner, England may have not been bombed and a lot more of Hitler's victims may have been saved. Winston Churchill then went on to become a hero to many and defined what it means to be a true Statesman by following his instincts and not giving up.

Moral of the story: listen carefully to and use your own instinct, observe things that others may choose not to see and speak up for what you know is right until you are heard.

Why am I reflecting upon the life of Sir Winston Churchill today? Well, last night I had decided to give up...not really give up but just stop thinking about all the things worrying me that are out of my control.... things I cannot change or make go away such as my thyroid tumor, food prices going up, the economic woes circulating around the globe, people losing their jobs, various wars, famines, world peace, if Yellowstone is going to erupt. You name it, I was thinking about it and wanted to fix everything which is ridiculous as a lot of that is literally out of my control and has nothing to do with me.

Of course I did have stuff going on that did have to do with me. I had gotten really tired after getting rid of the Christmas tree as mentioned in yesterday's post and the kids came home and acted as though I had kicked a member of the family out of the house (and immediately tried to drag the tree back into the house), poor little King Caed was crying last night because apparently nobody would play with him at recess (and anything I did or said gave him no comfort at all which made me feel awful), the Husband was missing England of course, Mimi was going on about a week long luxury trip to Disneyland she'd like to take complete with room service and then got sad because she misses her old school and old friends (not that she doesn't like her newer school and the new kids but she misses having close girl friends nearby to play with every day and spend the night once in a while). I just felt defeated so....

....I changed my Facebook status to read "Hilary...gives up." Kirsten, sister extraordinaire not just her own sisters but to me as well (I sometimes like to pretend I'm a McNelly sister)commented that Churchill would be sad (that I was giving up) and abracadabra, Winston was first and foremost in my thoughts.

Mainly I was thinking about all the responsibility he had and all the worries that must have plagued him during the rise of Hitler...imagine feeling that terror and responsibility to protect so many people yet having nobody believe you? Talk about having things to worry about!

It made me feel oh-so-sheepish and just a little bit insignificant when I thought my "giving up" stance last night. I do have legit things to be concerned about of course like we all do but as usual, things can always be worse. I mean, the title of my blog is based on the fact that my life has had many ups and downs like a hill; it just so happens that my name can be used as a play on words for the idea of having a hill-like existence. But I created this blog to be my happy corner in the online universe to dedicate to life's little things that matter (and big ones of course as well) and that is precisely what thinking about Churchill has done...reminded me of the little stuff like listening to your heart and sticking to your guns and seeing the big picture.

And another little thing, it's time for Lilz's lunch as usual this time of day. Grilled cheese maybe, yet again?

For anyone else out there today feeling like life isn't the best right now, remember, as Churchill said, "Never, never, never, never, never give up." (To learn more about his life, click on the Winston title).

Nearly...

2009-01-14T10:01:00.009-07:00

...forgot once again to add the picture of the flowers that my little family gave me for my birthday....so before I forget again, here they are. They are even prettier now than when I took this photo because the blooms have opened even more. They are lilies of some sort needless to say (Lily is my favorite flower) though I'm not sure exactly variety. If I had to take a wild gander based on my limited gardening knowledge they are Peruvian Lilies.

Forgive the Christmas tablecloth, I know half-way into January it's a little outdated and not quite fitting. Forgive too the cereal bowl. Our table is usually a dumping ground for all kinds of things so the fact that it's actually a bowl on the table and not stacks of books, toys, keys or other non-table essentials is at least appropriate. ;-) Today I finally took down the Christmas tree since it was well and truly dead...and the tablecloth went into the box of Christmas stuff. I shed a tear because now that Christmastime and New Years is over, it'll be hot here in Arizona before we know it.

I've also noticed now that Christmastime is over every member of my family is starting to get grumpy again....like goodwill and cheer has to automatically go flying out the door with our dead tree. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? Personally, I have a lot that I could be miserable about but I am choosing not to be. My husband would call that being "unrealistic", some would call it being in "denial", I call it "there is a much better way to fill my time than by being irritable and acting like someone that nobody would like or want to be around." Not to say I'm running around singing like Maria from The Sound of Music and smiling all the time (I'm much too tired for that), but last night, when my entire household woke up at 11pm complaining about something or another, I decided to not let it get to me for a change and went to sleep with a smile on my face which I have managed to keep all day for the most part...

Maybe I spoke too soon. Lilz is now crying, Caed just slammed his door about something or another, Mimi is demanding ice cream and the husband just had a mouth full of complaints on Messenger about many a problem in Arizona.

Right now in my mind I am going to momentarily visit The Minack Theatre; my favorite place in the world....it's in Cornwall, England so I cannot physically go there so pretending will have to do. Anyone care to join me?

Quickly....

2009-01-13T17:39:00.006-07:00

I just threw a lasagne in the oven for Mr. Awesome's dinner (yes that nickname is an inside joke between us). So I was thinking about him and his impending return home after a long day at his job (which we are lucky he still has). Perhaps tomorrow I'll write more about this but for now just have to say how cool of him it is that he is rides his bike 4 miles a day now from home, to the lightrail station, to work, back to the station and then home again. I don't see any other guys doing that- it must be the "Mad Brit" in him. More to come....maybe with a photo the Englishman on his ultra cool yellow mountain bike.

One Word

2009-01-13T10:19:00.007-07:00

This afternoon, just for something fun and because I haven't done one of these in a while, I thought I would cut and paste an e-mail survey that one of my best friends sent to me (with my answers, not hers of course because I don't think she'd want me sharing her answers with the universe, although her answers were totally good ones).

A few years ago I was survey obsessed, and so apparently were all of my friends since they were the ones sending them to me at the rate of about 20 a day, sometimes I got the same exact one about a billion times over a year or so.

They are a great way to waste time for a stay at home mother like myself, or for anyone if you just want to escape real life for a moment or two.

I think all of us gave up on the survey titled "Get to Know Your Friends" however because nobody has sent that for a while now....most likely because we all know by heart, by memory and like the back of our hands what is hiding under each other's beds, what color crayon we'd be, where else in the world we'd rather be at the given moment and whether our favorite jewelry consists of gold or sterling silver (or the rare platinum for those of us who can actually afford it)!

I had never gotten this one before though so here goes....It's simple and probably really boring for everyone to read, but since I'm not feeling too well today I figured this may be the only way to get something on here in my current state of sheer exhaustion and therefore lack of any and all brain juice and/or creativity.

ONLY 1 WORD ANSWERS.IT'S HARDER THAN YOU THINK!!!
1. your cell phone? unreliable
2. Your significant other? unpredictable
3. Your hair? enemy
4. Your mother? passionate
5. Your father? chill
6. Your favorite thing? pictures
7. Your dream last night? travel
8. Your dream/goal? eternity
9. The room you're in? extra
10. Your fear? death
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? carefree*
12. Where were you last night? home
13. What you're not? confrontational
14. Muffins? blueberry
15. One of your wish list items? teaching
16. Where you grew up? hot
17. The last thing you did? phonecall
18. What are you wearing? clothes
19. Your TV? digital
20. Your computer? connections
21. Your mood? knackered
22. Missing someone? always
23. Your car? red
24. Something you're not wearing? shoes
25. Favorite Store? none
26. Your summer? watermelon
27. Your favorite color? green
28. When is the last time you laughed? morning
29. Last time you cried? yesternight
30. Four places I go over and over? home, school, stores, Moms
31. Four of my favorite foods? Chinese, Mexican, Greek, Grilled
32. Four places I would rather be right now? abroad, sleeping, temple, beach
33. The thing you're proudest of? family

*carefree as in the state of mind, not as in Carefree, Arizona. ;-)

The End....just in time to make Lily lunch and run to the school to pick up Caed and Mimi (see number 30 above).

And today....

2009-01-12T15:04:00.010-07:00

...I will be playing the role of Zombie Mom.....with black circles under my eyes that are real ones, not make up ones and a washed over pale look that would give any ghost some good competition. I seriously need about 8 years of sleep, I think that last good night of sleep I got was on 7 May 2000, the last full night I had before being in labor, or having a newborn to feed, or child to care for in some capacity. I'm not saying I'd trade the kids (never, for anything in the world) and really I don't miss the actual sleep- just all the fine health and good looks (OK, not to say I was ever good looking, but at least I once upon a time didn't look like The Corpse Bride all the time) that go along with a woman who gets some ZZZ Zs.

The weekend was fabulous, and really bad, all rolled into one.

Fun and Good stuff: my birthday. Words cannot say how happy I was to see 32 go into the pages of history. Not happy to be older, but am happy to have survived to be 33! Hubby got me some beautiful flowers with a sweet personal note (pictures to come) and mom got me and the kids Zoolights tickets (pictures to come). Mr. Moore also got me some black forest cake which is still sitting unopened in the fridge....maybe tonight we will have time, or will feel like eating a piece to celebrate.

Bad Stuff: Caed got the flu big time from Mimi and threw up alll over the carpet Saturday night, which I got to scrub of course. It also meant I stayed up all night Saturday with him with a bowl standing at the ready and I got no sleep, at all, OK, maybe half an hour. King Caed missed Zoolights which was sad because it was meant to be a night out for his birthday and mine (we are 5 days apart). The cool thing about it is I brought him home a cool pirate light up sword to make him feel instantly better and he took to the new role with gusto....whirling the sword in the air upon it's arrival home to him complete with metal clinking sound effects (minus the other sword that it would need to hit to actually make a sound like that if it were indeed metal and not plastic).

So back to the no sleep. I really miss it. If I had time I'd look up all the problems one can have from sleep deprivation I am sure some would apply to me. If only evolution was really what (some people think) it's cracked up to be.....because if it were 100% true then I (and all other mothers like me who can't hold it together perfectly like June Cleaver) would be able to manage this sleep deprivation thing without anyone noticing, not to mention I'd have 10 arms, x-ray eyes in the back AND sides of my head, supersonic hearing and I'd be able to read everybody's minds so that I could know way ahead of time about why they are in a mood and what I could do instantly to save the day (or night). Where is Charles Darwin when you need him to explain why human mothers have not adapted appropriately!?

But when I look at that picture of Caed as a baby way up there I could never say that he, and my other two aren't worth it. They are definitely worth lack of sleep, and more. They are getting older though and am sure in a few years from now I'll be bemoaning the fact that they won't want or need mom anymore. Although sometimes I miss the days when I could sleep in till noon, I then remember that I can sleep when I die; we only live (and have babies/small children) once.

MIMI

2009-01-10T08:33:00.006-07:00

Our firstborn Mimi just announced to me that she would like to be officially added to mom's blog- so in her honour I am posting some of my favorite photos of her through the years along with one of our favorite children's poems....it sums up the beauty and airy personality of my daughter perfectly. I am so glad she's my little girl.

THE SWING

HOW do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!

Up in the air and over the wall,
Till I can see so wide,
Rivers and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside—

Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown—
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down!

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Reflection

2009-01-10T07:51:00.005-07:00

Tomorrow is my 33RD birthday and I get to spend all day today reflecting on what I want to do differently from my 32ND year that is quickly drawing to a close. There is waaaay too much to list here but there is lots of room for improvement on many fronts....church, home decor and organizing, playing more Candyland and Operation with the kids, gardening but mainly being true to myself. For some reason 33 seems like a good age to finally be "officially" grown up (not in a stuffy way mind you) so that is my goal for myself, to appreciate who I am, the good, bad and in between and truly live my life accordingly. The past year was a hard one, on some fronts I'm surprised I survived in unscathed (my health being the major challenge) and I'm actually really excited to see what age 33 holds in store.....let the countdown begin!

Dear Saturday....

2009-01-10T07:38:00.004-07:00

We are so happy you are here, the kids are happily watching Saturday morning cartoons.....

...and Daddy gets to have a lie in (as he'd say back home in England, sleep in as they say here in America)...

...and I get to clean up the kitchen early that I didn't finish cleaning last night because I do not have a dishwasher and literally ran out of steam (and yep I scraped all the food into the trashbin because I don't have a disposal either but that's ok, my house is from the 50's and environmentally friendly).

At least I can now finish the dishes without rushing out the door to school.

Thank you Saturday! :-)

Ta Da and One More Thing....

2009-01-09T16:22:00.002-07:00

So it's now 4:21pm and to follow up to the post I just made... Lilz is crying, not due to Caed but the puppy Jonah jumping up on her....he was tiny when we got him in early November and now he's as big as she is. But she's fiesty and is now telling him off in her lovely 3 year old gobblygook language. To show just how fiesty she is, I will post a photo from our recent snow trip where she is ready to wield a snowball at daddy's head, concentrating so hard that her tongue is poking out. Gotta love it, I wish I had her gusto and I hope she keeps it, as long as she uses it in a nice way as she grows up.

4pm on a Friday afternoon.....

2009-01-09T16:06:00.001-07:00

Right now, my children are my world, again....not a lot is ground-breaking there but for some reason the new year has renewed the joy of motherhood (not that the joy ever left me, but many difficulties in 2008 caused me to almost forget the pure miracle it is to be a mother).

I've never seen a little boy so happy to get home from school.....to see my newly turned 6 year old son, "King Caed", return to his sisters after a long, hard day of playing and coloring at Kindergarten seemed like pure bliss to him, and therefore to me too.

To Mimi, his older sister who stayed home ill today, he gave planted a big kiss on the cheek followed by a bigger hug upon seeing her (oh and p.s. he told me when I met him at his classroom door that he's now the boss of her since she's sick) and then he promptly headed directly to the back patio to play monster with little sister Lilz. Since they are getting older now and actually turning into their own little people, it's really rewarding to see that truly, they love each other.

For me, a girl who grew up with just one sister, one parent and one grandparent (that was it, my entire family growing up), it's even moreso rewarding that I have 3 very individual children but have managed to glue them together as one. I can only hope as they grow up that the glue binds them even closer. For now though, the monster play is in full swing and I'm relishing in the imaginary play, I'm sure Lilz will be crying in about 5 mintues saying that Caed hit her in the head....if I'm lucky, maybe it'll be 7 minutes.

And on that happy note, I smell the bbq pulled pork burning in the crock pot (how does that happen in a crock pot when it's meant to be self monitoring and self cooking?)! I guess everything this afternoon can't be totally perfect, but it's pretty darn close.